One dream I want to achieve..

This is the image that sums up what I really wanted to do in life, to be a travel photographer. I humbly accepts my inexperience and I haven't acquire yet the necessary skills a photographer has, as well as the proper knowledge in putting complicated effects and enhancing photos in the adobe photoshop. What I know is, I wanted to travel the Philippines, to capture the beauty of our nation, to discover the hidden treasures of nature, to climb mountains, to see the sunrise and the sunset in various vantage points, to look at the blue sky where birds fly proudly in the horizon, to point out the different planets, stars and constellations at night, and to appreciate how blessed I am to witness the beauty that my eyes laid on and tries to capture it in camera. People may say I'm just riding the bandwagon of trying-hard beginners in photography whom with the advent of the increasing interests in digital photography rapidly makes people acts as photographers and where owning a camera is a must. I started taking pictures (using film) when a digital camera was still expensive and where film photography is on the top of its game. When an American uncle of mine showed us his pal mode video camera years go, I was amazed by the way it captures moment and where you can actually playback the time. You can always come back at that whenever you watches it. In 2006 where I was a freshman in college, I took a lot of photos of my classmates. Unfortunately, most of them where deleted when our computer got reformat way back. I'm not trying to sound boastful but I believe the concept and interest of my classmates in taking photos started from me. I was the first one to bring a digital camera (which I borrowed from my cousin and aunt) at school. I was the first one to document some of our school activities and took numerous candid photos of my classmates. I really cried hard when I lost most of those photos. It really felt something was taken away from me and it left me broken. Fortunately, I was able to accept it and started again from scratches. Back in college, it's very unusual for me to not bring camera at school. WOW! This post gets me a bit nostalgic. I'll just look forward on the day I finally own a camera so I could finally realize my dream as well as continue my passion for capturing moments and turning them into nostalgia. 

I think I met all of my close friends in school and I’m glad that some of my classmates now in graduate school and I are getting along very well. Without them, my life would be boring, monotonous, and not to mention, would suck.  

I'm Back! =D

Quote of the Night

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our things were answers like astronaut, president, or in my case, princess… When we were ten, they asked us again. We answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist… But now that we’ve grown up, they want a more serious answer. Well, how about this… Who the hell knows?  This isn’t a time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy because there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… We won’t have to guess. We’ll know.” -Twilight Saga: Eclipse

2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Photo(s) of the Day # 13

Mich, Rich and Me

Me, Mich and Ate Liz

Some of our graduation photos..I miss these guys as much as I miss our school...

Rainy Morning

It's a rainy Monday morning. Rainy mornings makes me lazy and sleepy but I'll force myself today to read the readings on my report as well as some books I just downloaded. Hopefully, today will be better than yesterday. Tangle is on in Star Movies but I don't feel like watching. Maybe I'll just try to catch it the next time they play it. Belated Merry Christmas. 

Btw, this is the satellite view of the Philippines and in it's southern part , a low pressure area (the yellow and red colors) is lying which explains of our bad weather here in Gensan. 

Expectation/Reality Ngayong Pasko

Expectations:

• Pupunta sa mga Ninong at Ninang para humingi ng aginaldo.
• Maiingay na tugtugan ng Christmas Carols.
• Maraming pagkain.
• Masayang kapiligiran.
• Maraming tao sa paligid mo, nagkakasiyahan ang lahat.
• Aayain kang lumabas ng mga barkada mo.
• Buong tropa mo ay pupunta sa Mall para magsaya.
• Magagandang Regalo galing sa Magulang mo.
• Hindi mo maiisip ang anumang lumbay sa isip mo.

Reality:

• Tahimik ang kapaligiran, para bang mag-isa ka lang. (Mag-isa talaga)
• Wala kang naririnig na tunog, sobrang tahimik, ang tanging naririnig mo lang eh ang ugong ng aircon o ang motor ng electric fan. (Electric fan at nakabukas na TV na hindi ko naman pinapanood)
• Hindi umabot sa Quota na limandaan ang napamaskuhan mo. (Wala nga eh)
• Walang tropang nag-ayang lumabas sayo. (Wala, sa sobrang busy nila, nakalimutan akong imbitahin sa birthday ni Cocong)
• Hindi ka makapunta ng mall dahil sa wala kang pera at alam mong maraming tao. (Tama)
• Wala kang regalong natanggap sa magulang mo. (Mga bagong gamit, chokz na yun)
• Halos hindi nagluto ang magulang at umorder na lang ng pagkain sa Mcdo, Jolibee, Bucket Meal sa KFC. Pero ang gusto mo talaga eh Queso De Bola at Hamonado. (Maraming pagkain pero gaganahan ka bang kumain kung mag-isa ka lang?!)
• Nalulungkot ka dahil sa araw mo ng Pasko naramdaman ang lumbay na hindi mo nararamdaman noon. (Agay, Maninuod man!)

Ewan ko sobrang laki ng expectation ko ngayong Pasko. Nagulat ako at sobrang na dissapoint akong ganito ang nararamdaman ko. Sabi ko lagi maging masaya, pero sobrang boring nitong nangyari. Ang tahimik, walang christmas sounds, walang namamasko. Para bang normal na araw lang. Ibang iba sa mga nakaraan na pasko dati. 

Ang tahimik…. Sobrang tahimik…. May sariling mundo ang lahat ng tao ngayon. Kaasar lang.

Saddest Christmas

This is probably the saddest Christmas since my mother died. I felt so alone. Well, I'm literally at home, alone. No family members, no friends, nothing except a hairy-tailed creature who loves to chew my slippers. Last year, despite being just more than a month since I lost my mother, was different one. It was a lighter Christmas. Our relatives from abroad was here, my paternal relatives also visited us and it we had quite a happier celebration despite our painful loss. Now, I'm here, facing my laptop, writing this with some tears in my eyes. This made me miss my mama and Dingo. I wish they were here. I wish I was not alone. I wish I had some friends to talk to during this times. I wish I don't have to face the computer and visit the internet just to make myself busier and preoccupied. Christmas should be about celebrating the birth of Christ and spending it with our families and friends but where are they? I could curse myself for being this miserable on the most awaited season of the year but I just couldn't help it. I AM ALONE. Where is everybody? They are somewhere partying, drinking, having some good time without me. Yes, I am bitter. NOW. They never bother to call or text me. I have nowhere to go but to stay at home and look to that hairy-tailed creature at if reminding me that he's still here with me. Brimbo may never speak a word but the way he stares at me, the way he licks my feet, the way he sits beside me, it's as if he's telling me he will never leave me. Animals may have that kind of instincts that whenever I feel miserable, my dog would just never leave my side. At least, I have him.

 Some people say I'm short-tempered, emotional, easily gets pissed off on small things, snob, disrespectful. I could honestly say that only few can understand me 50% but never a 100%. I say something and they misinterpreted it and they start to say some blah blah blah's without really comprehending what I said. Some says I'm too serious and I couldn't force myself to join some nonsense, off the topic cracking of jokes. They even say I couldn't adjust myself to some people's personality. Yes, I'm aloof when strangers try to talk to me. My guard is on when someone not really nice approach me. I don't usually get along in some nonsense conversations and I don't like someone cracking some insensitive jokes. Yes, I maybe cynical at times, I'm stiff, I can't loosen up, adjust to other's personalities and don't let my mood swings, which is very terrible, ruin my day. But this is me. And maybe, with this kind of personality I have, I will always be alone. The inevitably painful truth.

I end this with a post from terminallykeith.tumblr. You can view the original post here. So here it is:

I stand alone.

I hate being alone for one reason, I hate the feeling of confinement and solitude. But times have changed, and solitude is the new thing for people afraid of trusting others. Afraid for a multitude of reasons, either personal or trauma or whatever.
We are constantly in search of companionship, and lucky are those who already have found their match. But for those who haven’t, it sucks. It pains. Yes, it is difficult to be alone, but it won’t kill you. So hold on there young child, have strength and just stay as you are. Don’t change for the benefit of others, but stay as what you wanna be. Because people who insist for you to change are people who don’t deserve you, your attention, your time and your affection., you might as well stand alone.

Good Night Everyone and Merry Christmas!

Last Christmas

Luke 2:8-14

⁸And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. ⁹And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.¹⁰And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. ¹¹For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. ¹²And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.¹³And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,¹⁴Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Sigh. I can't believe how time really flies so fast. It seems like yesterday and the 365 days felt like it didn't happen. Today is Christmas Eve and one or probably the best time of the year. It's the year where everyone cooks something special for their noche buena or the Christmas Eve dinner, everyone got some new clothes, new shoes, new things for themselves, and everyone is practicing the spirit of gift-giving. I don't usually expect to receive gifts during the holidays but some friends and relatives don't fail to give me gifts or extend their blessings. I'm contented with what I have right now and I'm very thankful that God gave us so much blessings not just this year but to all my 21 years in life. Life never promised a smooth perfect path but I'm really thankful that God gave me problems that I can bravely bear and made me a stronger person. But I know I still had so much to learn. Today, in this Christmas Eve, I'm thanking the God for all the blessings he gave as well as keeping us in good health. This is the time to give and spread love, extend and share our blessings, and spend good time with our families and friends. I am fully aware that my Christmas will never be the same. It will be the second Christmas without our mother and the first time without my canine bestfriend, Dingo. But life must go on and I'm looking forward for a better future and I'm very hopeful for this coming new year. 

This Christmas is gonna be different from last year. Last year, we were joined by my aunt and uncle from America and my niece and her mother. It was a fun Christmas despite some of us getting a bit emotional since it was the first Christmas without my mother. We had a lot of gifts for each other since we were given more money by my aunts and uncle as well as my father so we can buy our own gifts. We had a sumptuous dinner and an enjoyable bonding of dancing, joking and fooling around. It was the first time we had an exchange gift. It was a very happy Christmas Eve despite the painful loss of my mother. I believed that my mother even joined us in that celebration. I believed those mists on the pictures was my mother. We had countless photos of us on that spot but that was the first time we ever saw a mist on our photos. It was nice to feel that she was with us that time. As I've written, this Christmas will be different. My aunts and uncle weren't here, my niece will be spending Christmas in Bukidnon, and we don't have an exchange gift this time. Nevertheless, Christmas is about spreading love to your families, friends and even to those strangers that are in need. It's about sharing good times whether in a sumptuous dinner or a simple one. It's about celebrating the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. It's about thanking God for all the blessings we received and will be receiving. All I hope is that this Christmas, despite our family not complete anymore, it will be a Christmas worth remembering and celebrating and that we shouldn't forget what the real meaning of Christmas is: LOVE.

By the way, My father share the same birthday with Jesus Christ, December 25. Happy Birthday,Pa. We Love You!!