Just a random post on a random (busy!) day

I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared on my path.
I define myself by the courage I’ve found to forge new roads.
I do not define myself by how many disappointments I’ve faced.
I define myself by the forgiveness and faith I’ve found to start again.
I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted.
I define myself by how much I have loved, and am willing to love again.
I do not define myself by how many times I’ve been knocked down.
I define myself by how many times I’ve struggled to my feet.
I am not my pain.
I am not my past.
I am that which has emerged from the fire.

Unknown

Always Believe in GOODNESS!

Be good in the phase of failure. Sometimes being the best means being the least. Be good even after you made a mistake. Sometimes being good, just voice down to be able to say sorry. Sometimes being good, is loving the people who hurt you. And making the most difficult choices that may hurt the people you love. Madalas sa kagustuhan nating maging pinakamagaling, nakakalimutan nating maging mabuti. We lose sight of the fact, that everyday is a struggle to just be better. Being good, is what kept my family together. Being good, is what built and sustain this company. Being good, is what will move it forward, for the future of our children, and for our children’s children. It’s not the easiest, but that is probably the best legacy that a person can leave behind. To always believe in goodness. And just be a good man.” - Luis Montenegro

It Takes A Man And A Woman

Messed up, BIG TIME.

You know that feeling when it was not intention to do wrong or hurt others but you end up doing it unintentionally. Yeah, maybe I messed up. Or yeah, I really did messed up. People say it was just an honest mistake but how can I say it if in the first place, they already expect me to do things I usually do. It sucks to say sorry but if it's the only word I can muster to ease the guilt I suddenly felt, then maybe getting humbled is better. 

It's been a while since I've been like this, wanting to write something about what I'm feeling at this exact moment. It's been a while since my brain actually speaking the words spontaneously while I'm writing this. Yeah, it really sucks. This guilt had given me burden and additional stress. I just hope this month will end. It has been a hell month for me. I want to release all my frustrations, stress, insecurity, all negative feelings that has eaten me this past few weeks. Wow, now I feel like crying,. My tears are just uncontrollable. I don't know what to say or write after tears started falling in my eyes. I questions myself, AM I SELFISH? AM I STUPID? Why do I always fail? why do I make myself look stupid to others? Why do people don't believe what I am saying? why do they think I'm just a shallow person? why can't I forget the hurtful things others had done to me? Am I revengeful that I can hold grudges for a long time? This feeling really sucks. I hurt my friends, I disappoint my family, I fail at work, I look stupid when I'm with intelligent individuals. I know everything are all trials to make me stronger but why can't I learn my lessons?? 

"Believe in yourself"

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be,

....that's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down,

but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself and all that you are capable of.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life,

And it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are,

so when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities,

Remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be, because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep believing in yourself.

- AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Gagnam everyday.. =D

Three Years.

Three Years. It's the number of years since our very last performance of the play The House of Bernarda Alba. Once in a while, I still watch the video performance and look at the pictures as well. It made me miss the times when we were still rehearsing the blockings and the throwing of the lines. I can't help but smile whenever I remember them. There were even times when I asked myself if I really did was their director. I somehow questioned myself if it really happened. As I look back now, it seemed like everything was just a dream. It seemed like a dream I always wanted to be realized just five years ago, when I first saw the performance of the Shakespearean play The Taming of the Shrew. Then, it happened. Three long years had passed and I still could not get over it. It seems as if as time passes by, the feeling tastes like a wine that gets better over the years. And yeah, three years and I still missed the company of my cast and crew. I guess I miss more the company of those people who, like me, gave so much for the play. Without their commitment and discipline, it would be all gone to waste and just give a so-so performance. Three years. Really? It's been three years? Oh, how time really flies so fast! =)

It's been three months!

Finally I'm back! It's been a three-month hiatus for me. I've been busy juggling school and work. Our first EGIP Internship had just ended last July and now we've been renewed for the second time. We're now entering our fourth week and I hope things will get better for us. That's it for me now cause I'm starting to get dizzy again (my meds side-effect). Gotta write more in the coming days, as long as I won't get that busy again..teehee. 

Maktub by Paulo Coelho

Here is an excerpt that I enjoy reading and rereading. The book is in French, so I translated the excerpt, I hope it gets closer to the English version of Maktub. In his books, Paulo Coelho is full of truth. Maktub is not a story with a beginning and an end. It is a series of experiences and encounters that lead to reflection, meditation and the quest for self.

Zen monks, when they want to meditate, sit before a rock: “Now I’ll wait until it grows a little rock”, they think.

The master said:

“Everything around us is constantly changing. Every day, the Sun illuminates a new world. What we call routine is full of new opportunities, but we do not see that every day is different from before.

Today, somewhere, a treasure awaits.

It may be a little smile, it can be a great achievement, whatever. Life is full of large and small miracles. Nothing is boring, because everything is constantly changing.

The trouble is not in the world, but in how we view the world.”

- Maktub by Paulo Coelho

First Week of Work

Can't believe that my first week of work is done. So far, so good. Nothing really significant had happened except our trip in Glan. My second tour of duty. I used the term tour of duty for the fact that with the nature of our work, it's like touring the different municipalities but with the twist of visiting their respective public markets and monitor the different prices of certain products. Next week, we'll be in Malapatan and Malungon. I hope we won't have any problems especially when it comes to some apprehensive store owners who think we'll arrest them if we found out they violate something. Fortunately, we don't have that police power (yes! it's a term I learned on our Phil. Administration System's first meeting). We don't have the authority to arrest or apprehend bogus stalls. If ever we have that power, we would definitely have a hard time enforcing and I'm pretty sure we're gonna offend a lot of store owners and they will develop ill feelings towards us that might lead to something more dangerous and serious. I love it when we're on the field, monitoring prices because I got to visit places and learn more about the different neighboring municipalities. But I'm still adjusting when it comes to attending classes after work. As much as I want to rest after work, I can't afford too since I've got to attend my classes. Nevertheless, I'm optimistic that I'm gonna adapt quickly to the present schedule. 

Next week will be my second week. Hope it will be much better than the first week. =)

"If I Die Young"

If there's one song I want to play on my funeral, it would be this song. It may sounds a bit morbid for me to write this but one thing I learn is that life is unpredictable and only God knows what would happen to us later, tomorrow, in the future. So if one would ask about my funeral song, it would be "If I Die Young". If by chance you come to my funeral, please play this song. =)